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DISPLAYFUL
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2012 to 2013

Sunday, December 30, 2012 || 10:45 PM

Another year has passed. 2012 to 2013. And no other time would be more perfect than writing this some hours before the New Year. (Just an aside, I'm alone right now in the condo writing this down.)

As always, and should always be the norm, it's important to say "Thank you" to the one who made us experience life. For one year, He has given us the sight, the sounds, the strength, the emotions, and the faith that we needed to survive. He has given us a good life and we should be grateful for that. For all the blessings I've received, I know that words would not be enough to express how thankful I am. This life of mine would not be like this, and I would not be who I am today if not because of the people, the trials, and the triumphs I've faced. To Him whom I'm most grateful for, everything I do is for Your greater glory.

MOVIES in THEATERS

I am not really a movie-goer. I rarely even watch films at home, but because of my friends' invitations, I got to go to theaters and enjoy them! Here are some of the movies I've watched with friends.

Hunger Games
Avengers
Spiderman
Step-Up 4
Sinister
Taken 2
Wreck-it Ralph
The Hobbit

FOOD and PHOTOGRAPHY

This was why I bloated. Before, I was too conscious to eat. My relatives and friends even said that I looked like a sick girl because I appeared too skinny. But now that I became more adventurous and hungry for it, I indulged in everything. Added by the stress in school, I almost became one lean and mean eating machine. And because I loved photography and Instagram, I took every opportunity to take a shot of the dishes we order in every restaurant and eating place we go to. This was also the start of Bite Size! The food website that I, Kharl, Francis, and Yanie, decided to put up to give people some gastronomic adventure and tips when they're out planning to eat somewhere. Unfortunately, we haven't finished the site yet. All of us became busy during the semestral break. I hope it would be finished soon, though.

SUMMER

I missed spending my summer in Bicol because of class. Nonetheless, I would have to say that I enjoyed my stay here. Being with my IEP friends made my vacation even more special and memorable. Not to mention our "soupy" days every Math Eco time. I also enjoyed being with my China classmates. Because of this opportunity, I gained more friends, and even more important, more experiences and life lessons.

BEA EVENTS

Never for once have I regretted that I joined BEA (IEP? Well, sometimes.) It's because when they said it was going to be our "playground" they gave justice to it. It was BEA which taught us that behind the sufferings of an IEP student, it was not impossible to stay cheerful and active in co-curricular activities. Thanks BEA, for making us smile!:)

ADVENTURES

No, I am not naturally adventurous. (Just like what I told you earlier). I'm too sensitive and conscious to do things out of my comfort zone. I also have many fears and precautions. This 2012, I never thought that I could even conquer half of them. Either because of school, friends' jamming sessions or family get-aways, I got to hurdle my hesitations. Here are some of my adventures:

Commuted from Pasig City to Manila area to watch a play, Bona
Traveled from North to Laguna to go to Enchanted Kingdom and experience the rides and games there.
Traveled from Naga City for almost 12 hours by car, stayed overnight in General Trias, Cavite in Kuya Zynor's house, then left for Bulacan the next day.

CLOSER FAMILY

2012 has also been a year of communication, miscommunication, and "uncommunication". Now that my brother and I are in good terms once again, we, siblings, got closer and closer even more. I was also able to invite my mom to go to mass once before Christmas. As time passed by, I learned how to be stronger and much more confident in the things I do, especially infront of my family.

SMALL TALKS

This is was one of the things I'm most proud of about myself - that I was able to share a piece of my inner world to someone. Contrary to what others would think, we are not together - at least not yet (well, who knows). I'm just glad that there's also someone who is ready to share his life with me. We are friends, in fact, best of friends if I may consider because the level of knowledge between us had gone much deeper. I'm proud to say that he's one of the great discoveries I had this year - apart from knowing myself more. Every once in a while, we would talk. From night to dawn, from morning to late times, and we would talk just about anything we could think of, what our minds would tell us, and comment on things outside the conversation. We enjoy each other's company, especially when we allowed ourselves to joke and have fun with each other. I'm proud of him, and proud of myself even more with this achievement - this communication that I never got to experience with my own family members.

BESTFRIENDS

What more could I say? Because of them, my life has been so much happier, sweeter, funnier, and much more adventurous. To infinity and beyond! Happy New Year to the people who left a mark in my heart!

juggling it

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 || 9:33 PM

want to do so many

in so little time

with so much pressure and expectation

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To Do List

Tuesday, December 25, 2012 || 6:02 AM

For so long, I already thought about adding some posts to my blog and just narrate the simple things to the most extraordinary days I have experienced. Nonetheless, it seems like I'm not given enough time for this. Or perhaps, I'm just not making it happen. Anyway, for a start, I'd like to make a list. A list of the happenings I have to remember and write about for the next days. I just hope I will be able to accomplish them. Fingers crossed!

Christmas 2013
EK trip (bea, outreach, sabio outreach)
Late night talks
Bestfriends
Choco's Party
Bite Size
Anna Karenina thoughts
sin tax and RH Bill

There are still a lot more to talk about in the world and in my life but I have to be realistic. I don't want to end up piling up my thoughts. Goodluck to me! I'm excited to start already!:)

Quacky Ducky

Sunday, December 2, 2012 || 3:37 AM

Just a like a duck, swimming gracefully at the surface, but struggling hardly under the waters.

Starting 4th grade, I was dubbed as the "duck" of the class (as I was mocked by a certain "frienemy"), and I hated it. But at this point in time, I never realized that would admire such an animal. After my circle, I realized a few things.

For the past weeks, I've been ranting and ranting to my friends and to myself. Sometimes, I would keep myself pre-occupied of thinking unnecessary things and then blurting it out to someone close to me. I thought it was okay but in truth, it was not. It was not okay to let other people know that you are suffering and that you are having a difficult time if the sole purpose is sympathy. At times, I have to be concerned of others also: to think that I am not the only person in the world. There are others also who have greater problems than me, and yet they do not rant about them.

My patience for other people's stories is short, but if I wanted to tell someone something, I wanted his/her full attention. So selfish of me!

My take on boys? Well, recently I did not manage to keep my secrets to myself. It's because I understood that I could not keep them for so long. I have to tell them to someone because if not, I'll burst. I need some advice, some suggestions, some reminders. I wanted to know how they think about me, about him, and about us together. With all that I've said, I can say that I've been honest to them about my feelings and plans for him. I just don't know how I'll tell it to him directly.

I could've had my chance last night (November 30, 2012) when he went home with me after the teambuilding. He knew that I wanted to ask him some things and he wanted me to ask him, but I just can't. I don't know why. Fear overtakes me. I wanted to ask him now. I wanted to ask him soon. But I felt that this was not yet the right time. Hopefully, in God's time, it will be.

Am I flunking my subjects already? And now, I'm trying to rationalize my study habits. Well, it's just true that I could not do anything but sometimes, I feel like I'm just lazy to do them. That's why I must try and try until I feel like it's the best already. I don't want to settle for anything mediocre anymore - never.

I'm happy for my spiritual and for his spiritual life. I just hope this continues even if I'm out of his daily affairs.

I have to save money from now on - in fact, it was supposed to start months ago.

Headaches and body pains after the IEP Teambuilding that I really enjoyed being in, and swimming the night after with Yanie. Nevertheless, I'm okay. I know that these pains will go away.

I'll struggle everyday and learn how to say "No". That's why I always ask for some faith. That's the only thing I need to know myself more and develop in me the virtues I have to acquire.

I promise not to promise but I'll keep in mind that I have to be a better person each and every day. Amen.

This is not faking. Better call it "grace under pressure".

I'll struggle inside as I smile outside.